


Why is it them and not you?

by FreakCityPrincess



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Feelings Realization, Han is the best drinking buddy, Jyn gets to kick Bounty Hunter ass, Long-Distance Non-Established Relationship, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Prompt - Survival, Rookie soldiers doing good work, Tattooine is a terrible place to spend the night, Texting while sleep deprived, is that a thing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-04 21:57:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15850179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakCityPrincess/pseuds/FreakCityPrincess
Summary: Command's assignment for her was far from Jyn's idea of a productive mission, but two totally inexperienced rookies really could keep you on your toes.Perhaps it was a good thing, then, that Cassian decided to say hello when he did.Or, a mission gone sideways, a less-than-brilliant assassin, and rebelcaptain banter that is a little on the playful side.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. Yes, I really did come up with this idea for the rebelcaptain "Survival" prompt of all things. My weird mind immediately went, "Hey, imagine if they were stranded on an island. Or maybe two different islands. With people they don't like. They're bored/annoyed so they contact the other asking to be put out of their misery."  
> Well, that's what I was aiming for, but this happened. Cue some action plus rebelcaptain acting like a pair of teenagers when literally left to their own devices.  
> Old prompt, but I'm only managing to produce a finished work now, lol.
> 
>  
> 
> **Rated for suggestive themes and swearing.**
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Tattooine was not one of those worlds of strategic importance to the Empire and not remote enough to be of use to the Alliance; a desolate, depressing hell of sand that burnt during the day and wind that stirred in malicious torrents when the sun went down. Jyn wasn't entirely sure what they had been doing on Tattooine in the first place, but she was beyond the point of annoyed for it, and had to her own admittance rather childishly ignored her two mission partners for the past half-hour. 

Jatt and Deak, or Jack and Jill, she didn't recall and didn't want to- trailed behind her utterly engrossed in wayfinding devices that had so far not indicated a single habitable place wherein they could settle down before Tattooine froze over for the night. 

Well, okay. _She_ should be the one with the scanner leading them towards safety. Jatt was half her height and probably not even the legal age for ground missions while Deak, a Rylothian of twenty, was well known in his division for being shavit at a computer. But she'd gotten them this far, steered the two kids away from an obvious ambush, saved Jatt's neck when their informant had tossed a knife his way and called their tremendously thankless mission to a halt. Not for the first time, she considered enlisting in a division that would actually call for her best skills- a squadron of ground troops, the Pathfinders, Twilight Company, something- but as always, Bodhi's rigorous disagreement and Cassian's quiet disapproval would throw those fledgling thoughts away.

Until Cassian got back from his assignment, his whatever-the-hell-it-was undercover operation in a remote sector that required minimal radio contact- Rogue One would not work as as unit, and they'd been split up to play roles in various quick hit-and-run missions rather than continue their usual work without their Captain. Jyn thought it was stupid, as did Baze and Bodhi, but it really didn't come as a surprise to anyone that even a year after Scarif, Command didn't trust them to be left to their own devices.

"Sergeant Erso!" It was Jatt, and she snapped out of her thoughts to find a disproportionate smile on the young boy's face. "There is a building just two klicks Northwest of here without heat signatures."

"Abandoned moisture farm," she guessed, daring to feel hopeful. If it was two klicks and isolated from the rest of civilization, they might be able to last the night.

Jatt fiddled through his pack for a pair of microbinoculars and surveyed the barren horizon too fast. She was close to the end of her stretch of patience, but it wasn't entirely the rookies' _fault_ that no one had taught him better, so she patiently put a hand on his shoulder and directed him to survey one spot for longer. Getting the message, he continued his search at a more careful, measured pace. 

"I see it!" he cried happily. "We'll be able to reach it in maybe half an hour."

"Less than that if we pick up on speed," said Jyn, pulling the straps of her packs firmly over her shoulders. "Come on. I'm not slowing down for either of you."

Three sets of footprints sunk a trail into the rapidly-cooling Tattooine sand.

###### 

The desert was cast in a cold, dark shadow that shaded the thick sand blue and rippled it like reluctant waves in the sea. Tattooine's two suns had gone down and the heat haze they generally brought with them had long ago vapourized- it was halfway into the night by the time they reached their intended destination, though only the fact that they hadn't seen total darkness confirmed what time it was as midnight and just before dawn looked exactly the same from what the HoloNet had said about Tattooine.

The building was hidden within a dent in the sand, its single watch tower being the only thing that had given it away to Jatt's binoculars. The other two wasted time searching for stairs, but Jyn took the initiative to slide down into the pit. She was only affected with a little sand spraying her elbows and trousers. 

Three squat buildings stood, dilapidated and cracking from expansion in the heat and contraction in the cold. Jyn only informed her dazed mission partners that they would have to leave by noon the next day, so you had about ten hours to sleep. It's better time than anyone normally gets. Use it well. 

She settled her pack on the floor of her chosen overnight stay, at the foot of something that might have been a generous ledge, might have been a bedframe for the original tenants. The window right beside her was sealed shut, but webbed with cracks and misted over. She removed a camouflage sheet from inside her bag and arranged it tightly around her, a little looser around her thick jacket that did an altogether acceptable job of keeping her upper body from freezing. 

There was too much of strain on her back. She tried sleeping on her side, at first, but her elbow wouldn't sit comfortably under her ribs- she tried her stomach, but that was worse (not to mention a defenseless position)- and settled for sleeping on her back again. Her shoulders ached from the weight of the pack she'd been lugging around the desert the whole day, and really, rest was welcome, but it wasn't coming easily.

Speaking of packs...

Her eyes were drawn to the open zip of the back, and it took every ounce of self-control to keep from outright groaning in frustration. She had to get off this ledge, lose the decent position she'd found and zip the damn thing up just so a Womp rat wouldn't make a home of her clothes for the night. Kriffing fantastic. 

Jyn sat up and swung her legs off the edge of the ledge before she could convince herself not to. She near-stumbled to the pack, almost tripping over its cumbersome straps in the dark, and crouched to get it over with fast. The zipper was halfway through when the edge of a black rectangle caught her eye. 

Jyn paused. 

It would be around noon on Hoth now, and could be anything on whatever hell-hole planet Cassian was stationed on. She supposed it wouldn't hurt to drop Bodhi a message ( _Hi. Alive but freezing._ ) to be relayed to the rest of her crew. 

She could drop Cassian an update as well, as she had been periodically doing, but so far he had remained without contact and there was no indication he even saw her messages in the first place.

Refusing to think too far down _that_ road, Jyn snatched up the datapad before making her way back to the would-be bunk. 

_[SJE]: Hi. Alive but it's cold here._

_Not that I miss Hoth,_ Jyn thought, but she couldn't risk that over a communication channel, however secure it was supposed to be. 

_[SJE]: Hi. Alive but it's cold here. hope it's sunny at home. Will see you soon._

She hit off send to Bodhi, and switched the datapad off.

The desert was cold and lit bright by moonlight, two less-than-ideal conditions for falling asleep. Her shoulders werr giving her a hard time against the hard ledge. Three. 

_Kriff it._ Jyn grabbed the datapad from where she'd dropped it and switched it back on. Because the room was already naturally lit, the blaring screen didn't sting her eyes as much already it should have. 

_[SJE]: Hey._

She realized a beat too late she had hit send before adding more to the message. 

Was it worth it? It wasn't costing the rebellion anything, really (their communication lines were illegal, and free), but it wasn't like she was about to hear from him either. There were already six lengthy, unread messages above the new one with timestamps that were weeks apart. Status updates, news from Base but protected as phrases only he'd understand, and a set of special words that meant ' _leaving on a mission_ ' and ' _got back home intact_ '.

He'd told her to send the occasional update, even if he hadn't promised he'd see or respond. 

It wasn't like she didn't have some time to rest before they shipped out the next day. She'd catch up. 

_[SJE]: Not at home today. Went out, it's sunny but a little cold_

Would he guess it what planet and climate she was referring to? Not that it'd help, but it was better to know. That was her opinion, anyway, where he was concerned, and it never quite sat with her when his whereabouts were confidential.

_Hope you are well_

Jyn sat up to fume at the screen in annoyance. She was bad at this. She was shavit at words.

_Friends are doing fine. My brother got a promotion of sorts-_ Bodhi is on a mission, low stakes- _and I am_

Jyn closed her eyes and breathed through her nose. Great. Just kriffing great. She couldn't even write him a message when there wasn't any news to deliver. She should just stop, now. If he ever got the chance to respond, he would, and if not, well-

He'd be back in another month or so. They could talk, face-to-face, and she wouldn't have to search so hard for words then. 

Jyn deleted the unfinished message and set the datapad down at her side, shifting again on her back to sleep. She kept her sheathed vibroblade tucked under the opening of her sleeve for easy access.

Sleep, as usual, was a long time coming. 

###### 

Jyn had managed what couldn't have been more than two hours of rest with her eyes closed before her senses, ever attuned to the outside world, were called into wakefulness when she felt a buzz by the side of her head.

Jyn's first thought was: _Droid. Unfriendly._

She sat up straight, flicking the vibroblade out with her wrist, and having it open and firmly in her grip even before her eyes adjusted to the dark.

There was no Imperial droid, or any droid associated with Jabba's Palace or a local gang hovering over her. Nothing and no one in the room, no sounds besides her own heaving breaths. 

And then- another buzz. 

Jyn looked down just in time to see a blue light on her datapad. 

She closed her eyes, releasing a breath. It was probably Command with new instructions, but holy kriffing Force, couldn't they wait until the night cycle was over on Tattooine? 

_Emergency,_ her brain supplied, and her mouth went, "Oh."

She picked it up and switched it on. 

There were two new messages, but none from Command. 

_[CA]: Hi. It's good to hear from you, Jyn._

_[CA]: Line is secure. Mission objectives achieved, I'm on my way home._

Her heart pounded behind her ribs. 

_Alive. Safe._

If he was using his actual initials to communicate, and if he was also using her name, then security around the channel had to be very tight, and probably programmed himself with Kay's confirmation backing it.

The relief that always hit her like a wave when she was clearly informed he was _not_ dead was a feeling she didn't think she'd ever get used to. 

_[SJE]: Hi_

This was his first contact in almost a month, and she found herself awake, all intentions of sleep forgotten. 

It only took a couple of loud heartbeats for a reply. 

_[CA]: Planetside?_

_[SJE]: sunny but a little cold_

_[CA]: Tattooine, then._

Jyn felt a small smile uptick the corners of her mouth. He did a decent job of reading between the lines. 

_[SJE]: yes. Space?_

_[CA]: Haha, you're a riot._

No one was watching, and he couldn't see her either, but she smothered her grin anyway. 

_[SJE]: hw's target practice doing?_

_[CA]: I wonder if you'll ever make peace with each other_

_[SJE]: it's my way of showing affection_

_[SJE]: and there will be hell to pay if you tell him_

She settled back aginst the hard wall, still smiling as she waited for his reply. 

_[CA]: Can I let you in on a secret?_

Jyn quirked an eyebrow.

_[SJE]: go on_

_[CA]: I think Kay has grown quite fond of you._

Jyn smirked at the screen, despite the surprising warm feeling that spread in her chest at the information.

_[SJE]: that's what I do, hotshot, I grow on people_

Kay hadn't told her himself, and for that, she wouldn't tell him either that she liked him. Well. Didn't _mind_ him. She'd come closer to liking him the day he stopped calling her 'below average height', among others.

_[CA]: Can't object to that_

_[CA]: Are you injured?_

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She'd seen this coming; it was always going to pop up sooner or later. 

_[SJE]: no. Honest._

_[CA]: I'll get to know if you're lying._

_[SJE]: I'm aware,_ Captain 

_[SJE]: and you?_

_[CA]: Nothing much. Some bruises._

Jyn narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She knew from experience what his 'nothing much' could entail. 

_[SJE]: describe_

It was a beat before he replied. 

_[CA]: It's actually nothing, Jyn._

_[SJE]: IDC, describe it_

Another pause. 

_[CA]: Upper right arm, bruise_

_[SJE]: and that's all?_

_[CA]: No_

_[CA]: The same forearm got gashed. But I've applied bacta, it'll be fine._

Jyn's fingers clenched around the datapad. If Cassian had actually used bacta from what he considered vital, depleting Alliance resources-

_[SJE]: don't bullshit, cassian_

_[CA]: I'm not. It isn't serious, but Kay insisted._

_[SJE]: really out of the 2 of you he is the more sensible_

A beat. 

_[CA]: I know._

She stretched her back, twisting the kinks out of the muscles at the base of her neck, and brought her knees up to her chest. 

_[CA]: Solo?_

Why was he asking about-

Oh. 

_[SJE]: N, got a couple of newbies to look after_

_[CA]: And how's that going?_

_[SJE]: it was a fucking disaster_

_[SJE]: but nobody got injured, don't panic_

_[CA]: I think a 'fucking disaster' by your standards cover quite a lot of grounds for injury._

_[SJE]: force cassian not that kind of disaster_

_[SJE]: that kind of fucking disaster would mean me on my way to medbay on a stretcher right now, not having this conversation_

_[CA]: Don't even joke about it._

_[SJE]: wait, I'm not allowed to joke? This is not a meeting or something._

_[CA]: That's not what I meant._

_[CA]: Don't joke about you being taken to medbay in that condition._

Jyn gritted her teeth before forcing herself to calm down. It was understandable. Her sense of humour was a bit on the morbid side, yes, but Cassian did not like the thought of her being taken to medbay any more than she appreciated the thought of the same happening to him.

_[SJE]: ok no more medbay jokes_

_[SJE]: the mission was bad because 1) no objectives achieved and 2) it was useless to begin with_

_[SJE]: 3) I hate this sandball_

_[CA]: Are you sure about that?_

Jyn laughed, a short, quiet burst, because even the thought of Hoth evoked a piss-cold feeling in her bones, and he was right. 

_[SJE]: I take it back_

_[SJE]: I'll enjoy while I can_

_[CA]: Smart girl_

Jyn was about to say something snarky and probably along the lines of, we'll ask here for our next vacation, before his new words actually registered. 

It sounded...playful. 

Sure, they often had some friendly banter between them, but since when was Cassian _playful?_

_[CA]: Is it early hours there?_

_[SJE]: not so fast_

Why the hell not, she thought. Two could play this game. 

_[CA]: ?_

_[SJE]: yes it's early. For you?_

_[CA]: Hyperspace night._

_[SJE]: and you really have all this free time?_

Another pause. She was so familiar with his speeds of typing that even across this distance, she could tell when he had stopped, when he'd taken a moment to think. 

_[CA]: I have a report or two, but it's a long journey._

_[SJE]: where's target practice_

_[CA]: Piloting. Why?_

No, she was not going to regret this. A sharp grin was tugging at the corners of her lips, and she was having a good time imagining the look on his face when she delivered her next few lines. 

_[SJE]: so you're alone then._

_[CA]: Of course._

_[CA]: I don't see what you're getting at, Jyn._

_[SJE]: in your cabin_

_[CA]: Well yes_

_[SJE]: am I keeping you up?_

Judging by the minute of silence that followed, Jyn could safely guess that her plan had worked. It was purely for her own entertainment, imagining his flustered reaction as he took those inquires the entirely wrong way, which was also incidentally the idea she was trying to communicate. The datapad buzzed again.

_[CA]: No_

She muffled a laugh against her knuckles. He'd absolutely fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

Oh, she was so going to milk this victory for all it was worth. 

_I wish I could see your FACE right now! Force cassian you walked right into that one, I can't believe_

Jyn abruptly stopped typing when the datapad buzzed with a new message from him, and the smirk on her face vanished at once. 

_[CA]: And you? Am I keeping you occupied?_

The croak that came out of her throat was embarrassing and undignified, but there was thankfully no one around to witness it. 

The back if her neck burned even as she keyed in a retaliatory reply.

_[SJE]: you're making me bored. Surely you can afford to be a little more creative, hotshot._

Cassian didn't take long for his answering blow.

_[CA]: Hotshot, eh?_

How could he turn her own words against her? 

_[SJE]: well, maybe not. You haven't proven anything._

Her cheeks were still burning, but damn it if her comeback wasn't good enough to make her crack up, and she didn't even hide the sound this time. 

It was a victory sent from the Force, because Cassian took an _abnormally_ long time to come up with something that lived up to it. 

_[CA]: Would you like if I did?_

Jyn dropped the datapad. 

She could imagine him laughing even as she scrambled to switch it on and get it running again. She could also imagine...other...things, and _he was not going to get away with this._

_[SJE]: I think you're setting the bar too high for yourself, captain. A little less cockiness would help your case if you ever had to go through with it._

Cassian, of course, was almost instantaneous. 

_[CA]: Can I trust you to be a fair judge in the first place?_

No. No, no, holy kriffing Force, _no._ She had started a battle she could not win. Especially now that she was trying to suppress images of him, ah, making good on his boasts. Shavit. No. Son of a rabied Bantha, _no._

_[SJE]: woah, easy on the thrusters there, hotshot!_

She could not lose. Jyn Erso did not lose fights that she picked. 

_[SJE]: eager for my verdict?_

Her fingers were already poised over the keys to shoot back as soon as he replied, whatever he managed to come up with next, but she didn't get the chance. 

"Sergeant...Sergeant Erso?"

Jyn very nearly did startle, clutching the datapad against her chest when it fell as she spun around to face the open doorway.

Deak was standing in a corner, pressed against the wall and peering only fractionally into her room, but she could clearly discern that his face was pale, and his eyes frightened. 

Jyn forgot about the datapad and slid over to her feet, a question in her stare. 

The junior officer pressed a finger to his lips- she could see the digit tremble in place- and beckoned her forward. 

She picked her blaster and truncheons up on the way, fixing them to her person as she went. It was chilly in the corridors of the abandoned mud house, and even more so in the pit that she followed him out into. They kept to the shadows of the house and the dune above them.

Deak wordlessly showed her his monitoring device, the one that had given them nothing the whole day. 

A heat signature- no, several- were spread out across the screen, bleary-shaped but certainly there, and within a mile's radius, too.

Deak enlarged a section of the screen, and it revealed a heat signature drawing closer. Too close. 

"We need to go," said Jyn under her breath. Not out of worry, but because they probably did have to keep quiet. She could handle one hostile easily, but it would not do to draw attention from the others, who might not really know their location. 

Deak nodded, tight-lipped, before sprinting back into the house. 

Jyn walked back in calmly, never taking her eyes off the lip of the hole they were in. It was a vulnerable position. Any Bounty Hunter worth their salt could hold fort out there and they'd be essentially trapped. 

She kept her eyes trained outside even as she packed up her belongings. She had medical supplies and the rebellion's technology in her pack: she couldn't leave it behind, but she did shed every extra pound possible. She had to get the rookies and the equipment of here. 

"You two, go," she told Deak and a suddenly very white Jatt, tossing her pack their way as she made for the exit. "Get as far from her as possible. I have a feeling the contact we pissed off has some pretty dangerous contacts of his own."

"Sergeant-" began Jatt with a stammer. 

"Go," said Jyn, voice low. "I'll cover. Ping my transmitter to let me find you."

The younger rookie still looked reluctant, but all it took was a tug from his partner and they were headed out into the open fast. 

And not a second too soon. 

Jyn ducked to avoid a burst of blasterfire that came her way, spinning around on a heel to raise her own blaster in defense. The would-be assassin was nowhere to be seen, and didn't retaliate. Unlike in the rooms, the corridor was dark. 

Then she understood. Wherever they were firing from, they were firing blind. 

She crouched to miss another shot that came her way. 

And they weren't in the corridor, either. They were shooting from somewhere outside. One of the rooms, perhaps. Jyn pressed her back against the wall and took several sideways-steps towards the nearest open room.

She stepped in, and away from the doorway. They would have no coice but to follow her. If she let them keep firing blind in a tiny corridor, they were bound to hit her eventually. This was they would both see what was going on. A fair fight, and one where see she stood a better chance.

Jyn did not expect shots to come from the ceiling. 

She reflexively raised her blaster and squeezed off a few shots overhead. There was a trail of smoke, and once that cleared, she saw it- the roof was made of wood, only thinly coated with clay, and beneath the two traditional domes of the house there had to be a hollow shell which her attacker had found their which a into. 

Jyn snorted. Perhaps it was too early to judge, but trapping oneself under a dome made of clay was more than a little stupid. 

If she fired blind through the ceiling, she would get them. 

Another shot, which she narrowly avoided. _But,_ Jyn reflected, there was a chance the attacker might escape before she made her lucky shot. 

Jyn took a few quiet steps backwards. The room she found herself in had no holes for windows, but it had a thin strip cut into the wall serving as an air vent. She looked around for something she could use.

More blasterfire from above. None targeted at the corners of the room. Cassian would appreciate how stupid this person was. 

_Cassian,_ said a voice in her head, _would grill you for getting into this mess in the first place._

The room was a kitchenette, she guessed, although all the furniture had been evacuated. There were leftover vacuums and pipes that indicated a cooler and a sink, and there was... 

There was a flask of alcohol. It was rusted, clearly untouched for years, but if it wasn't empty and happened to be a local brand, she had an idea. 

Her attacker kept right on firing, but his intervals were becoming random, unpredictable, and she had to cross the room at one point. The ceiling was riddled with holes, some gaping enough to give a view straight through.

She glimpsed a masked face looking down at her, blaster pointed, her location given away. 

Jyn slowly raised her arms in surrender. The Bounty Hunter cocked their blaster barrel, unwilling to buy the act, but the momentary hesitation was enough. Jyn sent the rusted flask hurtling through the wood. 

They darted to a side, missing it, but she drew up her blaster and fired. 

It was a good shot. Baze would commend her for it. 

Cassian, and even Bodhi, would be more concerned she'd just set the building on fire using unpalatable local arrack as fuel. 

Jyn made a run for it, ignoring the vocal swears coming from above. The Bounty Hunter was trapped. The flames would no doubt encircle the insides of the dome, and when it burned through the floor, well... 

They might escape, yet. But not with enough time to come after her. 

Jyn was quick in jogging up the steps and out of the hole, out into the cold desert made stuffy by the violent flames just behind her. Liquid sweat dripped down the sides of her face. 

She could hear shouting in the distance. More on the way. 

Jyn was gone before the voices caught up. 

###### 

The early hours of morning on Tattooine before its twin suns had claimed more than a quarter of the sky was perhaps the only pleasant time of day on the miserable planet. There was even a cool breeze blowing. Jyn found Jatt and Deak in a spot closer to an inhabited town, lounging with their packs on a rented speeder. Well, maybe lounging wasn't the word for it. 

Jatt's face went from contorted with worry to relieved, and then delighted, when she waved at them from a distance. Unexpectedly, the boy broke into a run before she reached them. 

"Sergeant Erso!" he exclaimed, eyes wide and colourful in the light of day. "I am so glad you're here! We were about to move further inwards but I told Deak we should wait longer-"

Jyn nodded. "Thanks for that." She looked across to where Deak had disembarked, and now steadily approached them with a grin on his face. "Has Command said anything?"

Jatt suddenly went very, very still, and Jyn took a step back. She was tired. The trek here had been a long one. They didn't have a new mission objective on this blasted ball of sand, did they? 

The boy cleared his throat, then coughed awkwardly into a fist. His cheeks were a little pink. 

Jyn frowned, but Deak beat him to an explanation. 

"We thought Command would contact you, so we checked, but, um," the recruit held a datapad out to her. Her datapad. Her eyes widened as they flicked up to his face.

Jatt looked like he'd really like to dissipate into the air or melt and become one with the sand, but Deak was trying very hard to suppress a smile. 

Jyn snatched the device from the recruit's hand, ignoring her own burning face. She feigned impatience as she gestured towards the speeder. 

"Can that rustbucket get us to a spaceport?"

Deak was immediately sobered. "Yes, sir. Ma'am. Sergeant. That's why we rented it. It's fueled up, we can go."

"Good," said Jyn, not too satisfied with the reaction. Her 'Supervising Officer' tone seemed to be improving every day, but it wasn't as if the two rookies under her care hadn't _just_ seen what had to look like a very incriminating history of messages exchanged with another senior officer.

She didn't dare open the datapad again, of course, until she was in the relative privacy of her quarters on board their extraction vessel. It had been a pleasant surprise to find Bodhi piloting, with Luke at the helm because he was more familiar with Tattooine's layout than anyone else. After a hug and a few pleasantries, she'd retreated into the fresher to wash the desert's grime (mostly sand, coarse and irritating) from her body, even taking the time to clean her good clothes of it. 

She only sat down with the datapad after her mind had cleared from the events of the mission, and she could no longer feel the heat radiating from the burning moisture-farm house. 

_[CA]: You sound as if you'll make it difficult, Sergeant_

_[CA]: But you forget I'm good at getting what I want._

  
_[CA]: No answer?_

_[CA]: Have I already won?_

Jyn typed an eloquent _Fuck you_ and hit send before tossing the datapad aside and burying her face in the hard mattress of her bunk. 

The rookies had read _that._

When they met on Base, she was first going to make him prove his stupid big words, and then she'd pay him back for this. 

Oh, she was going to make him pay. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Payback’s a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was never going to have a part two, but my lovely readers took it upon themselves to be really persuasive, and turned me to the dark side. 
> 
> Appreciate that I stepped _way_ out of my comfort zone to get this chapter written. 
> 
> A big thank you to @literatiruinedme, who is amazing and helped a whole lot in bringing this chapter up to standard!

Echo Base was just as cold, busy and depressing as it had been when Jyn had left, and even though she was glad to be back among allies, the planet’s hazardous weather made this sentiment difficult to express. Nevertheless she smiled at Chirrut, accepted Baze’s rough pat on the back, and even went so far as to walk her charges into their first real mission report. 

The two senior officers relegated to dutifully listen to their story were not happy with the mission’s outcome, but they agreed it could’ve been a lot worse. She would’ve preferred not having to hear Jatt gush on about what a great handler she’d been, but at least it was a distraction from the cold. 

And from the last four messages Cassian had sent her. 

Alright, so she she did feel a little embarrassed. Her mortification still lingered, after one long hyperspace jump and a futile mission report. But more than anything else her gut churned with a dozen other thoughts and feelings, ones she couldn’t name and didn’t want to individually pick apart.

Jyn didn’t know what this meant, if it meant anything at all. She thought at the time that some kind of game would be entertaining to insinuate, and it was fun while it lasted, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling that something had been too much. That if earlier they’d been keeping a foot’s length from the line, now they were toeing it. When he returned to base they should share a laugh about, maybe, or not bring up the subject at all. Then they could go back to whatever they’d been before- back to that limbo that had felt neither comfortable nor wholly inhospitable, but had worked for them.

Not wanting to be left to the tangle of her own thoughts, Jyn followed Bodhi to the mess hall and sat with him and the rest of her usual team, to fall into the familiar camaraderie that she was coming to appreciate more with each gifted day. And the day _was_ a gift, because stupid as that Bounty Hunter had been, much as she’d calculated the risks with burning the roof of the house, it could’ve easily been the day she finally ran out of the luck she’d been playing since Scarif. 

The thought added a new knot to her gut. She could have died, and Bodhi and Baze and Chirrut would’ve heard of it from Command, and Cassian wouldn’t have known that his last message would be the last time they spoke. 

She felt sick and relieved and suddenly adrenalised all at once. 

Bodhi made a remark about the design flaws on some new starship model, but she barely registered the words, startled at the new thought that crossed her mind. 

_Make use of the time you have._

“...really stupid wing-flaps, like, _why would you do that?_ Pointless, I tell you. Jyn, back me up on this.” 

She’d gone very, very still, acutely aware that it showed on her face and that her friends had turned to look at her.

“Jyn?” prompted Bodhi. 

“Kriff.” She snapped out of it. When had she gotten into the habit of losing touch with her surroundings? Probably somewhere along the lines of learning to be around people she trusted. “Sorry. You were saying?” 

Baze raised a curious eyebrow her way. “Are you feeling well?” 

“Yes,” said Jyn, a little too quickly, then winced. Everyone’s stares, save for Chirrut’s had narrowed even more. Chirrut was wearing his usual serene smile that suggested he knew exactly what was going on. “I am fine. Just wasn’t paying attention. Go on, Bodhi.” 

Bodhi squinted suspiciously, like he didn’t quite believe her, but she saw the moment he decided to let the matter go. What were the chances of her lying, anyway? She frequently didn’t pay attention when he went on tirades about ships. 

“Well, as I was saying, the new YT has the ugliest Force-damned wing structure ever. That design hasn’t been on the market since the Separatist days, and even then it was considered unattractive, so it beats me why anyone would pay credits to get their hands on…” 

  
  


Her quarters were dark and quiet, with only one of her four bunkmates present, and the Togruta woman gratefully didn’t try to make small talk. Jyn removed her scarf and sat on her own bunk, boots unlaced, with her datapad in both hands. She was glad for the silence. 

Cassian had sent one more message, this time in the more conventional standard they were used to: brief and to the point. 

_[CA]: Landing at 0650 standard._

She had somewhat of an explanation for why her heart rate sped up. 

It had occurred to her during mess and hadn’t fled her mind yet, the thought persistent and lingering like an aftertaste. She was calmer now, more at ease with the realisation...but she was running out of time. 

She had to do something soon. She had to know. 

Deciding two hours was too long to spend in the company of her spiralling thoughts, Jyn took off to the completely-non-regulation base cantina for something strong to drink. Maybe try some of that piss-poor Corellian local ale Solo kept trying to feed everyone. She certainly couldn’t do what she was about to do in an entirely sober state of mind. 

Because a highly inadvisable plan was starting to take shape behind her eyes, and it was getting harder to resist with every passing minute… 

###### 

The spare room beside the engine room had been converted by some very entrepreneurial rebels into a bar and hangout spot, and even though there was no way that Command wasn’t aware of the place’s existence or the impressive range of alcoholic contraband it boasted, the cantina had been running smoothly for the past six months. There was even a duty roster for its caretaking, enrolling a group of on-base personnel to run shifts in their free time. Jyn didn’t enjoy the loudness, or the awful selection of music and bright neon lights that seemed to broadcast a signal to the rest of the galaxy reading _REBEL BASE HERE; ALL SENTIENTS WELCOME, STORMTROOPERS MUST LEAVE HELMETS AT THE DOOR_ , but one thing she did appreciate was the organised nature of the place. And that it was warmer than the rest of Echo Base, not requiring more than one layer. 

Jyn slid into one of the seats before the serving aisle and rapped at the table. A Kage male appeared to take her order. 

“What’s the strongest stuff you have that won’t kill me after one drink?” 

The Kage wrinkled his grey nose like this was a question he got asked too often for his liking. “Most of that’s depleted now. We’re waiting on Dameron to bring in the next shipment.” 

Jyn cursed internally, but outwardly she just sighed. “Anything else that comes close?” 

He seemed to pause for a moment and consider his next words. “There’s one. But I wouldn’t recommend it.” 

“Fifty credits says he’s talking about the Spice Ale I brought back,” came a new voice to Jyn’s right, and they both turned to see Han Solo leaning suavely against the countertop. “You want to try some of that, Erso?” 

Jyn raised an eyebrow at him. “That disgusting hooch you’ve been forcing down everyone’s throats? What do you think I am?” 

“I think,” Han hopped onto the seat next to her. “That you don’t look weak. You should be able to handle it just fine.” 

Jyn rested her elbow on the table and assessed him with a critical eye. “Why Spice Ale?” 

Han frowned. “What?” 

She shrugged. “Why is it called that? Is it infused with Spice?” 

“Spice is for Imperial ass-sucking lowlifes and the scum of the galaxy,” said the Kage, turning back to them. “Well? Are you going to order anything?” 

Han flashed her a charming smile before nodded his way. “Get us two of that great Corellian mix I brought in. And it’s on me, so no charge, yeah?” 

The Kage snorted. “I’m afraid that’s not how supplier’s benefits work, Solo.” 

Han laughed, waving him off dismissively. “I know you can make an exception. Surely you won’t make a lady pay for her drink?” 

“That’s not how a date works either.” 

“ _Shavit_ , he’s not my date.” Jyn pushed Han’s elbow out of the space in front of her. “Just an arse pestering me to try out a drink that’s been getting Base personnel sick over the past few weeks.” 

Han mimicked a gasp. “Erso, you’re breaking my heart.” 

The Kage eyed them both warily, before breaking into a string of muttering and ducking under the counter to fetch a bottle. He had to open two locks to get to it, which spoke levels about the drink’s reputation even among the servers. 

Solo’s infamous brew was an unappetising colour of sewer-green, but the man himself wasted no time in taking a gulp. He set the glass down with an insufferable smirk. “There, it’s harmless.” 

Jyn refrained from commenting, only shooting him a skeptic look before venturing to swallow some of her own drink. 

She reflexively spat it back out. 

“ _What the fuck was that?_ ” 

“That, my friend, is what the mean streets of Corellian taste like.” Han wrapped an arm loosely around her shoulders, in that friendly way he did for everyone. “Can’t stomach it?” 

“Shut up.” Jyn picked up her drink again and took a smaller sip, tried to keep the wince from her face. She had never in her life encountered something as blatantly gross, but she wasn’t about to look like a weak Core-world girl, either. And she needed it. She needed something strong enough to both deflect her thoughts and give her the courage to put a stupid plan into action. “It tastes like piss, but it’s a free drink.” She shrugged him off her shoulders. 

Han brightened even as his arm fell away. “That’s the spirit. Have I ever tried to drink you under the table before? I feel like I should. We’d have fun.” 

Jyn finished her glass. It wasn’t that big of a glass, for which she was grateful, but she was already starting to feel a slight headache coming on, and a little bit of nausea to boot. “ _Sick_. This is the last time I’m taking recommendations from you.” 

“But you can keep it down. That’s an achievement. You’re going to become a hero when everyone finds out.” 

She winced. “Please, my reputation is at stake.” She rapped on the counter again, and the Kage walked over looking mildly worried and curious. “Can I get a glass of disinfectant?” 

Han snorted. “Ha ha. You’re a riot, Erso.” 

The server eyed her warily. “You didn’t throw up.” 

“I can hold my liquor.” 

He turned around to walk back the way he’d come, where he’d been making small talk with another patron. “Good. Hold it until you’re in the fresher. I don’t want to be cleaning the floor again.” 

Han nudged his own glass in front of her. She raised an eyebrow as if to say _how stupid do you think I am?_ earning a laugh from him. 

“Come on, Erso.” The smuggler produced a credit chip from his front pocket. “Ten credits for two more glasses.” 

###### 

Jyn missed the six-fifty mark because of a prolonged verbal battle she got into with a drunk Han Solo, and the stupid smuggler not letting her leave without proving his point. By the time she extracted herself from the situation, she was twenty minutes late and already forgetting what the argument had even been about. The gravity of what she was about to do- the very reason she’d had those drinks in the first place- struck her at full force and elicited an excited, nervous buzzing in her chest that went all the way down to her toes. 

She pushed past the omnipresent crowds in the hangar bay to locate the ship she knew he was coming in- unless something had gone wrong during the mission and he’d had to make a switch. Well, a switch of ships was preferable to a blaster wound or anything, which he’d assured her he didn’t have, but it nonetheless reminded her how fragile their existence was. 

How easily one of them could die. 

Jyn shoved aside these morbid thoughts and concentrated instead on not slipping on the ice. She was feeling a little giddy. No, very giddy. She’d had a little more to drink than originally planned. 

She caught a glimpse of Kaytoo over the bustling crowds and made her way over faster than usual. She didn’t understand why, but she just had to get there. Had to see that he was actually uninjured. To see his face again, after all this time. 

She was breathless and panting by the time she made it, but Chirrut stepped aside to give her a view of Cassian and Kay, and her heart threatened to surge up her throat. 

At the same time, the lightheaded buzz she was feeling helped her register the soft way Cassian smiled at her, the way his eyes crinkled around the corner even when the cold of Hoth was obviously seeping into his bones. She wanted to offer to warm him up. 

Of course, the moment had to be disrupted by a junior officer who came scrambling across the ice, as breathless as the same scramble had left her, skidding to a stop before them and hastily saluting. 

Cassian’s focus shifted and narrowed down on the officer, his professional mask slipping back on in an instant. “At ease, Private.” 

The Private dropped his salute but still stood ramrod straight as he reported, “General Draven wishes to see you now. Sir.” 

He nodded curtly, and Jyn’s reckless courage almost faltered. There was no way she could wait till a Force-damned meeting with Draven was over- she would lose her wits by the end of that time. And nothing would be done. No lines that she wanted gone would be crossed. 

Damn, stupid hooch had made her horny _and_ emotional. 

Cassian looked almost apologetically at her and the rest of Rogue One, but that poised professionalism was still there, obvious as ever. “I’ll see you later.” 

Before she could do something stupid like protest, Jyn crossed her arms and nodded casually. That is to say, she hoped it looked casual, and didn’t convey how frustrated she felt. 

She knew she didn’t imagine his gaze lingering on her face awhile before he followed the boy, towards one of the briefing rooms of Command, with Kay hunkering behind him and complaining about the frost in his joints. 

“Jyn,” ventured Bodhi cautiously once they’d gone, turning to her with a concerned look. “Are you drunk?” 

Jyn snorted. She was not _drunk-_ drunk was stupid, and stupid was more likely to ruin everything instead of help. “No.” 

“You are,” said Bodhi incredulously. “Damn it, is it that Corellian shit? Please don’t tell me you actually ingested that slimewater.” 

“That muck Solo’s being stashing around the base?” Baze wrinkled his nose aggressively. “No one should drink that unless they’re desperate.” 

_Yeah, I probably am_ , Jyn thought, but the sentiment mercifully didn’t leave her mouth. She scowled petulantly instead. “I don’t know about you two, but I don’t have a soft stomach.” 

“Jyn can actually handle anything,” Chirrut piped up helpfully. “Even now I do not think she is fully drunk.” 

_“Thank you.”_

“However, I do believe nobody would drink that slimewater without an ulterior motive.” 

Jyn groaned, rubbing the space between her brows. As much as she enjoyed her team’s collective banter, it wasn’t particularly enjoyable being on the receiving end of it, and especially not when they were hitting dangerously close to the mark. 

“I just wanted to see what the fuss was about. No big deal. I didn’t even throw up.” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” remarked Bodhi mildly. “The poison staying in your system.” 

“Oh, for Kriff’s sake!” she objectively turned her back and them and stalked away, feeling childish for walking away from confrontation but also really not in the mood to deal with anything of the sort. The buzz was dying down, something like relief was replacing the weight of anxiety that had been sitting in her stomach- but also disappointment, raw and real. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that once she recovered, once the warmth of the stupid Corellian spice drink was gone, she would realise exactly the repercussions of what she was planning and she would never try it again. 

The opportunity, and the moment, would be gone forever, and she and Cassian would never be anything more than they already were. 

_But what if he tries?_

Jyn silenced the hopeful voice she heard distantly. It was too dangerous a hope to have. 

Jyn was stalking towards her quarters and halfway there when she ran into the last person she wanted to see. 

“Jyn Erso,” Kaytoo greeted brazenly. “Cassian wanted to see you after his briefing. I was told to inform you now.” 

Oh, he wanted to see her now, did he? She had a few choice words for him. 

”When is that?” 

“I presume you mean the meeting with Draven.” Kay tilted his head to a side, as if studying her, reading her. “It is not an official mission briefing. I expect he had a few inquiries, but unrelated to our mission. It should not take very long.” 

Oh, okay. She could work with this. 

Somewhere beneath three thermal layers, her heart skipped a beat or two. 

She was this close to loosing her wits, but the excited fluttering of her stomach was back, and the relief was gone and replaced by a different kind of relief, one that was hopeful, anticipating. 

And a little bit of fear, as well, but the alcohol curbed that enough so that it stayed nothing more than a faraway feeling. 

“You do not have to follow me,” said Kay. 

“What am I going to do, wait here until I magically find out the briefing is over?” she quipped, more merrily than she would’ve liked under normal circumstances, 

If Kay could’ve rolled his eyes... “ _Sentients_.” 

Her nerves jittered with more than the cold as they stood by the door, behind which Cassian would emerge from any moment. Jyn actually wished she’d had more to drink- maybe this would play better if she was drunk. If it wasn’t what he wanted, if he didn’t want her, then actions while drunk would be much easier to explain, and they could leave it behind them and forget it ever happened- 

She almost stumbled back when the door slid open, and Cassian followed Draven out of the room. The General spared her an unappreciative look before delivering some generic parting remark and walking off. 

“I informed her you wanted to talk,” said Kay. “She insisted on following me here.” 

“Yes, thanks, Kay.” He sounded...actually, she couldn’t tell what he sounded like. He sounded tired, but also distracted, and his eyes seemed reluctant when they met hers. “Hello, Jyn.” 

No, not reluctant. Shy. Cassian Andor was _shy_. 

Every bit of doubt and fear she’d been harbouring fled in that instant, replaced by a certain kind of confidence she normally felt in the training room, before a sparring partner she knew she could take on. Jyn had to bite down the reflexive grin that threatened to break out on her face. 

“Hey.” 

He ran a hand through his hair, lightly, like he was dusting snow off of it. “Sorry about the sudden summons, by the way. It was needed.” 

She resisted the urge to bounce back on the balls of her feet. “I see.” 

Kay made a noise that could only be paralleled to an exasperated huff. “I will leave you to your sentimental organic reunion. I’m at the droid bay if you need me.” 

Seemingly glad for the distraction, Cassian turned to watch his friend go. 

An awkward silence settled between them, and he met her eyes again. Coughed into a fist. “Jyn, I wanted to talk…” 

She crossed her arms, unable to prevent an uptick or her lips this time. “I know. But this is not the best place to do it, is it?” 

Cassian nodded, apparently not registering the almost predatory look she was sure she had on her face right now. “No, it’s not. The briefing room, perhaps? No one will be using it for a while.” 

Jyn clicked her tongue. “Briefing room it is.” She casually brushed past him and into said room, walking straight for the table, against which she leaned while facing him. Cassian keyed the door shut. 

A small huff of breath escaped him as he settled against the door, two feet away. It wasn’t a very big room, and Jyn could tell that the walls were soundproofed. Probably meant only for the most confidential discussions, and out of bounds for most people. That wasn’t an issue. Even if she did respect ground rules, Cassian had access. 

“How did Tattooine go?” 

Jyn repressed the slightest of smirks, not wanting to give her game up so soon. Oh, so that was how he was going to play it. A round robin. Roulette. Re-route? Whatever. 

“Boring. A little explosive, but mostly unremarkable.” She worried her lower lip between her teeth. “You?” 

It was deliberate, the things she was doing with her mouth, the way she was lounging against the table, and she was pleased to see that he noticed, to experience what had to be at least a single second of delay in standard response time. 

“Pretty much the same story. Kay nearly gave us away twice because he was not interested in the effort of putting up a pretense when so little was actually happening. We got into a bit of a scuffle at a port, but it wasn’t enough to break our cover or do real harm.” He gestured at his sleeve. “It’s healed.” 

Jyn stood up a little straighter, recounting the injury he’d described. Remembering, even through the pleasant haze she was feeling, that Cassian tended to be a big liar when it came to his injuries. 

“Show me,” she said, pushing off the table. 

“Trust me, it’s fine.” 

Jyn scowled, closing in on him. “Excuse me if I don’t believe you, Captain.” 

His eyes caught on hers for a second, and she was almost startled by how…warm they were- wide and pretty and almost innocent in this moment. 

Cassian huffed, but didn’t go to protest any further. He carefully removed his jacket and held it with his elbow to his chest while he rolled up the sleeve of his thermal undershirt. There was a scar, recent but well patched-up, with a sheen of dried Bacta salve over it. There was some mottled bruising behind it, but it wasn’t an altogether horrendous injury. 

Jyn released a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding. Good. _Great._

Cassian quirked a brow. “Well? Does it meet your standards?” 

She took his exposed forearm in hand, carefully, giving it a visual once-over. His skin was warm to the touch. “Kay did this?” 

“He helped. To an extent.” 

Jyn nodded, still not looking up at him. The gash had her transfixed. If it had gone deeper, if he hadn’t been able to slide out of the way of whatever that’d come at him… 

Without really thinking about it, she pressed a gentle kiss, featherlight, to his wrist. 

She was positive she didn’t imagine the little hitch in his breath, either, when she finally did meet his eyes again, letting go of his hand. 

“What did you want to talk about?” she asked, almost too casually. 

Gravity. There was such a lot of gravity in what she was going to do.

He was so close she could feel his breath against her cheek, and she could tell he was holding it back. “When you were on Tattooine, and we had that conversation…” 

But she wasn’t going to back out, either.

“Oh,” said Jyn, as if just remembering the conversation. “What about it?” 

There was the slightest tinge of colour dusting his cheeks, which was honestly impressive seeing as his stubble should be hiding it better. “I was thinking. Well. I’m not sure how to start, but-” 

She felt a corner of her mouth twitch upwards. The rebellion’s golden spy, struggling for words. Now that was a sight you didn’t see every day. Maybe all her uncertain hesitance was for nothing. 

“But?” she prompted, not attempting to keep the smirk out of her voice. If she didn’t smirk like she already had the upper hand, Jyn knew it would only be a matter of time before she lost her cool confidence. And if she was really about to take this leap, she needed every bit of confidence the Force and the liquor would give her. 

Cassian paused, averted his gaze from hers, and cleared his throat. She got the distinct impression that while he’d thought this through, like everything else, her proximity was probably making it difficult for him to think. 

She patted his chest lightly, reassuringly. Kept the smirk on her face fresh, even though she could feel it melting into something simpler- something soft, even. She wanted this. She was absolutely certain now what she was looking for. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I can make it easier, if you want.” 

“Easier?” he managed to choke out, inelegantly. 

She trailed her palm down the front of his undershirt, her slightly buzzed mind taking the liberty to appreciate the shape of him underneath. He was lean muscle and a thin frame, but kriff it if that didn’t make him more attractive. When other rebels talked about the physical quirks that caught their attention, almost all of it was centred around muscle and duress and raw strength. 

Jyn had never seen the appeal in having too much of that. For one, it made most males cocky and put them in the mindset that they could have anyone they wanted- and, serious? They were all soldiers, being built-up wasn’t even extraordinary.

A lot of Cassian’s appeal rested in something entirely different. The way he talked to people, they way his eyes brightened up when he tinkered with droids, his unwillingness to leave anyone behind and make a sacrifice where it could be avoided. How he put his crew above the mission, but devoted himself to completing the mission anyway, whatever the personal expense, while nobody else was put in more danger than they had to be.

On Jedha and Scarif and Eadu, he’d come back for her. Kept coming back for her even after that, fought on behalf of his rogue team with the Alliance higher-ups before he was even cleared from Medbay.

“Mm.” She raised her eyes to his, because she had to be sure. “Faster, too.” 

Cassian made a soft sound that may have been an acknowledgment, may have been a reaction to her explorative fingers on his body. Mapping his bumps and scars and ridges, whatever that could be felt through the skin tight material.

Really, where had the desired stereotype for physical attractiveness even _come_ from? He was so ridiculously far from meeting any of the set standards, and yet-

She stopped with her hand splayed on his lower abdomen, her eyes fixed on his. He was absolutely still beneath her hands- and so _warm_ \- except for the rapid heartbeat she could feel, and a little twitch here and there in response to what she was doing.

He made no move to stop her, and he didn’t look uncomfortable. His gaze was assessing, a little confused, and a little wide, which gave her the distinct impression that while he had no qualms about her actions, he couldn’t quite believe they were happening.

_You are attractive,_ Jyn wanted to tell him, and she would’ve, if Han had forced more Spice Ale down her lungs. _You are unbelievably beautiful, has no one ever told you that?_

“Jyn.” He said her name hoarsely, like one wrong word would disrupt the moment entirely.

A small smile stretched her lips. “Can I ask you a question?” She was quiet, too, talking into the air between them.

She saw and heard him swallow, caught herself staring along the sharp ridge of his throat.

“Yes.” He sounded like he’d lost his voice. “Anything.”

She did everything in her power to keep her eyes locked on his when she ventured, “I want to have you. Can I have you?”

Cassian’s responding exhale was desperate and pronounced. Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched him process what she’d just said, the offer she had extended, and waited for his answer. Waited, and found every insecurity from before clawing at her skin, screaming that she take it back and play this whole thing off as a joke before it was too late.

“Yes.”

She hadn’t expected Cassian to take the final step that crossed the line, but he did, hauling her in close and crushing his lips to hers.

His palms were hot against her cheeks, and the broken skin of them was rough, but it felt good, _better_ than she’d even imagined- the scrape of his stubble on her chin, her hands on his narrow waist where the thermal undershirt was tucked in, the Corellian Spice Ale babbling behind the tight knots of her stomach and making the gravity fade away so she could enjoy every bit of this moment.

Jyn only pulled back enough to catch his bottom lip between her teeth, taking a second to breathe but not catch her breath. Cassian’s fingers slipped from her face in surprise, followed by a groan that tore out of him that was unabashed and exciting. Enough to send a jolt of electricity straight down her spine, curling in her gut and making the blood in her veins sing. The song built to a fever-pitch when his arms circled her own waist like a lifeline.

Force alive, he felt _so good._ Jyn bit back a moan and enjoyed the desperate noise he couldn’t hold back when she flicked her tongue out against his teeth, thereafter eagerly accepting the invitation to kiss him more deeply. The sudden shock of his mouth and tongue was so startling she had to grab his collar for balance.

Cassian broke off for air the moment her fingers slipped.

Annoyed and too adrenalised to acknowledge the importance of air, she went to follow him, but she noticed he was suddenly stiff against her and it didn’t feel right. Her eyes flew open in familiar panic, the kind she’d felt she’d been left behind in the past, when Saw hadn’t turned up for her as promised and Hadder’s ship hadn’t made it to the spaceport.

Had she gone too far with this? Had she overstepped their boundaries on a hunch? Maybe he didn’t want this, maybe the fact had just occurred to him.

_No. Kriff this._

She had to try. She had to at least salvage her friendship with Cassian, even if she never got to have anything more than that, but it was enough. She needed to save it now before he closed himself off, and she needed to shove aside thoughts of anything else. Their friendship. Their comfortable partnership. She couldn’t afford to let that go, even if it wasn’t all she wanted-

“Jyn,” he sounded breathy, and he looked a mess. But he didn’t look angry. She searched for signs that he was shutting himself behind the neutral spy-mask that served him well on missions, that she _only_ wanted to see on missions. She found none. Instead, Cassian’s arms loosened around her but didn’t let go, and he put a lot of effort into stringing together a coherent sentence. “Did you...are you drunk?” 

_Karking hells._

Jyn groaned, rolling her eyes to the heavens. She dropped her face into his shoulder, not wanting to have to face the embarrassment. Sure, it was infinitely preferable to the rejection she’d expected, but... 

“No.” 

He tentatively touched a hand to her back. “But it’s… _what is that?_ ” 

Jyn murmured a few choice expletives into the thermal material. “For kriff’s sake. Dear Force. Son of a _karking_ \- I’m going to _murder_ that kriffing nerfherder.” 

Corellian Spice Ale, the most disgusting drink in all the galaxy, and she’d just treated him to a fair taste of it in their first kiss. 

She pinched her eyes shut, lifting her head but refusing to look at him. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have had to- shitty drink, it’s not pleasant, I know-” 

“Don’t-” Cassian’s voice broke on a breathless laugh, his hand warm though her shirt. “Don’t apologise for that.” 

Jyn opened her eyes, wrinkling her nose at him. “You mean you don’t mind the taste of that shit? Did Solo force it down your throat, too?” 

“What? No. I meant-” He shook his head, a sheepish smile she found too endearing tugging the corners of his lips. “I don’t mind kissing you. Is what I mean.” 

She grinned, moving to loop her arms around his neck. Yes, this was better. There was still a flush on his cheeks, and the tips of his ears looked red from what she could see of them. She brushed a lock of hair behind his ear, to find out for certain. 

He had such soft hair. She ran her free hand through it, through the back of his head, taking guiltless satisfaction in the way his eyes fluttered shut and he leaned back appreciatively into her hand. _So beautiful._

“You like that, too?” she asked, pitching her voice low, only for him to hear, even though there was no one else. 

Cassian murmured something that sounded like an affirmation. She leaned in close to the ear she’d exposed. “What else do you like?” 

She reveled in the way he froze up, his sharp intake of breath at the words. Jyn pressed a kiss to the space below his ear, and another to the side of his neck. 

His breath stuttered when her hand slid down his chest again. Slowly, slowly over the slight planes of his muscles, down until she could drag it around to touch it firmly to his hip. She pulled back to meet his eyes. 

His pupils were blown wide, and while she was sure hers weren’t any different, he was flushed and so clearly wanting and _willing_ to let her take this in any direction she wanted. 

Maybe she’d thank Solo for that disgusting hooch, later. It had gotten her this far. 

The fingers of her free hand dusted lightly under his belt, a promise, and a challenge. 

This time Cassian really did lose it, bending his head down to quickly close the distance between them, not needing the hand at the back of his head to guide him. She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her, but she dutifully kissed him back, enjoying how far this had come. She felt both charged and light-headed when his knee slipped between her thighs. 

Before she could make an embarrassing noise, Jyn broke free for air, momentarily struggling to catch her breath. But it was the same with him as well, except he looked less concerned about giving his lungs the air they needed and more about the way she looked, wrecked by his efforts.

Jyn managed a smirk all the same, pulling her hands back to her so they could fix the bun at the back of her head. She pushed a few loose strands back in, and neatly brushed aside the locks he’d mussed. 

“Well, that was fun.” 

Cassian laughed, somewhat self-consciously. The tips of his ears were a lovely scarlet and he wasn't even close to looking casual. “Yeah. It was.” 

She held her hands out to him; only beckoned him closer when he regarded her quizzically. 

She smoothed down his own disheveled hair, combing it with her fingers, before gently touching her lips to his again. He melted under her touch, then chased after her when she pulled back, registering only after a second how her fingers were hooked suggestively under his belt, when she turned them around so she was walking them back into the door. 

Eyes half-lidded, he leaned in to kiss her heatedly, and her hands traveled around to his hips, holding him in place as she rose up to meet him. Their teeth clashed before they found a rhythm, her fingers finding skin under his shirt and while he kept finding ways to keep her lips occupied. If the noises he’d made before had been desperate, now they were almost _obscene._

Jyn raised a hand to slap the door-release. 

Cassian pulled back almost at once, startled, but she flashed him an unsympathetic grin, pushing lightly at his chest. 

“Later.” 

“Later?” His voice was heady and disbelieving. And also very hoarse, which she was probably in part to blame for. Jyn absently wondered what it would take to rob him of words completely. 

She shrugged, the picture of nonchalant innocence. “Don’t worry, the offer still stands. Feel free to come into my quarters anytime.”

“Jyn.” He sounded strangled. “Please tell me you’re joking. You’re not going to...you’re not going to leave _now_ , right?” 

Jyn had the good grace to look mildly apologetic, as if she didn’t wish to do this but it had to be done. “As a matter of fact, it wouldn’t be revenge if I didn’t.” 

“Reve- what?” 

She pressed one last, devastating kiss to the hollow of his throat. Her pace was casual as she ducked and walked backwards through the open door. 

“You didn’t win, you know,” she called. “I didn’t respond only because other stuff came up.” 

Cassian was outright gaping at her, and it was so comical to see that expression on his face that she nearly stumbled in her dramatic retreat. “ _What_.” 

“Just a little something for you to keep in mind, Captain,” she stopped before the bend in the corridor, propping a hand on her hip and broadcasting an unrestrained smirk of triumph his way. “Jyn Erso does not lose fights that she picks.” 

And then she was gone, barely holding back her laughter as she found cover behind the bend. She felt light-hearted and triumphant and warm all over. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this way, or if she ever had at all. 

There, she’d made the first move, made it that much easier for both of them. 

She couldn’t wait to see what kind of retaliation he came up with.


End file.
